I've been dry for 27 years. Sorry I can't join you for January. I'm already there.

But I am running for the 47th President of the United States. Here is my recent Campaign message:

https://medium.com/politically-speaking/medium-financing-my-presidential-campaign-1062b99b833f

If elected, I promise not to drink on the job and offend anyone by my weering my slirds.