Leslie

I think you have misunderstood my position. If a girl dances naked on guy’s lap and says “that is as far as it goes”, the guy has no right to take things further. If he goes further, he should go to jail.

I would put the blame on the guy for putting himself in a position where he gets himself sexually worked up and feels he has no choice but to assault. He shouldn’t put himself in that position — especially in light of METOO.

And I would put the blame on the girl as well. Don’t tease guys. Eventually the girl is going to find one who doesn’t respect boundaries and feels entitled.

I liken this situation to aggressive drivers. They may feel they are superior drivers and can handle pushing limits on streets and highways. But statistics show that aggressive drivers are in far more accidents than normal drivers. Just ask the car insurance industry why the insurance for sports cars and drivers with a few speeding tickets pay higher rates. To put this another way, if a person drives normally, that person reduces the chances of a car accident — and going through all the consequences.

In my younger days, I spent a little too much time with alcohol. I tended to do a few stupid things under the influence (or just after a drunken night). It’s a wonder that I survived. But I did. Stay away from alcohol — and you have less risk in your life.

There was a Medium contributor who wrote a great article on how consensual sex should work. Basically he was advising guys: “If she ain’t into you, back off”. I think that is a good boundary for male players to follow.

But if male (and female players) want to play this game, they have to expect a lifelong case of genital herpes because condoms don’t help much in this transition of this STD. For the 10% of the population that has a promiscuous lifestyle, they should not be surprised when they get herpes. But for those people who more or less keep a monogamous lifestyle, there chances of herpes is much lower.

People make choices. If one chooses a risky lifestyle of any kind, there are consequences.

A few years back, I thought that western societies had kind of licked much of its misogynist tendencies. I have changed my mind on this; we still have a lot more to learn. In the meantime, women still need to realize there are a lot of creeps around. Best not to go places where they hang out.

I too had METOO moment a few weeks ago. I was doing some office tasks. To complete these tasks, I would have had to move into the bubble of a new female worker. This could have been interpreted in the wrong way — and my reputation was at stake. I dropped my task for another time. When she was gone, I resumed. That worked for both of us. I’m not too sure I would have had the sense to do that a few years ago.