This is indeed a perplexing societal and personal dilemma. It sounds like you have some cultural expectations to consider as well.

While it will be nice if the children do provide this care service to their parents in their older age, I would agree that parents should not have this expectation. Otherwise, this could build a life-long resentment between the parent and child. Let your kids go free; if they come back, that is good.

Another angle is to understand our purpose in this world. What does our Creator, in whatever we conceive Him/Her to be, ask of us. Remember that we too will pass from this Earth; our deeds will tell our story.